Part 3. Read the following passage and mark the letter A, B, C or D on your answer sheet to indicate the correct answer to each of the questions. (2.0 points)
Apologising is one of the first relationship skills we’re taught as children. “Say sorry to your friend for stealing his toy”, “Apologise to your mother for being so rude!” Children often apologise because they are told to by adults, regardless of whether they mean it, and the recipient is often told to forgive, regardless of whether they feel it. But the skill of making a heartfelt, genuine apology must grow as we become adults if we want to nurture healthy relationships.
Dr. Aaron Lazare, psychiatrist and apology expert, says a good apology should have four elements. The first is to acknowledge the offence and admit that you have wronged someone. Next, there’s an opportunity to explain what happened, without excusing yourself – in fact, it is sometimes best to simply say, “There’s no excuse for my behaviour.” The third step is to express remorse and show that you understand how the behaviour has impacted the other person. Lastly, offer to make amends. If the mistake involved physical damage, have it repaired. If it involved emotional pain, promise to be more sensitive in the future.
Research shows that an apology is more effective when it is more costly to the apologiser, whether that’s in terms of money, effort or time. For example, a study called “Do sincere apologies need to be costly?” found people were more convinced by an apology if the apologiser had to inconvenience themself in order to deliver the apology. For example, if that person made a journey to say sorry, rather than just waiting for the next meetup. A 2025 study called “Sorries seem to have the harder words”, found that people use longer words when apologising than when they’re not apologising. It also found that people perceived apologies with longer words as more apologetic than apologies with shorter words.
So, be sincere and own your mistakes, remembering that forgiveness can’t be forced – the other person has the freedom to forgive or not to forgive. But what’s better: harbouring guilt for the rest of your life, or taking that weight off your shoulders?
(Adapted from: https://www.bbc.co.uk/)